Hyperbaric Ultra-Humans

It turns out that hyperbaric chambers don’t give you superpowers. Okay, like, to be fair, I didn’t think that they gave you ‘super’ superpowers. But I used to think their entire purpose was for athletes to climb inside and get illegal oxygen boosts. Like, they had to be banned at the Olympics because they give you the ability to sprint for hours and jump using…all the oxygen in your legs?

Alright, that was an embarrassing conversation that I’m going to try to forget. Kathleen was saying how she wanted to get a portable oxygen chamber, Melbourne has a few places that sell them. It’s for her son because it would help him with sport. I probably shouldn’t have asked but was curious if that was legal, especially for someone his age. Not taking the hint from her answer, I helpfully commented that I was pretty sure they were banned in the Olympics this year because they found it was some sort of miracle treatment. The phones came out after that, and here’s me feeling like a big, dumb idiot.

New Year’s Resolution for 2019: don’t comment on things if you’re only about 70% sure of their truth. I’m getting some really strong flashbacks to high school when someone mentioned something about their hair follicles, and I had to comment that follicles are the leading cause of death in men between 25-50. Still not totally sure what I was getting at, even today….

So now I’m doing intense research on oxygen chambers, as you do. Really interesting stuff. If you want to buy oxygen chambers in Melbourne you can go for the portable option, or you can go for the big glass variety. None of them give you superpowers…they just help you breathe and give your body more oxygen. Which in the end, is superpower-ISH.