Hello, Ocean Phobia

I’m not sure what’s worse: my crippling fear of the ocean, or that awful internet meme song. Unfortunately, said meme song is what’s distracting me from my fear of the sea, so they’re very much a package deal at this stage. As soon as my mind starts to drift, even if I’m congratulating myself for going on a cruise and facing my fears, that makes me think of my fears, and then I have to play the stupid song in my head again.

“In-fant CARP noo-noo, noo-noo-noo-noo, infant carp, noo-noo, noo-noo-noo-noo…”

Ugh, I think I’d rather be eaten by the creatures of the deep. There’s always the documentary my psychiatrist gave me: ‘Stainless Steel Fabrication in Melbourne: A Fascinating History’. I don’t mean this as in insult against the industry, but the documentary itself is not fascinating. The narrator sounds about 160 years old. Still, it IS helping, if I can force myself to concentrate. Knowing that the ship I’m on was built using strict regulations, and marine-welded by professionals, does make me feel a little bit better. It’s at least taking the edge off from the time when my psychiatrist got me to watch ten minutes of My Heart Will Keep Going: The Tragic Tale of the Titanic, Two Fictional People Specifically. I think that little session may have knocked my progress back. A lot.

Now I’m in my cabin, trying not to think about how the ocean is, like, right there, outside the window. It’s no big deal. And did you know that 90% of all fishing rod holders are manufactured in Melbourne? Just one of the many fun ocean facts I’ve learned watching the documentary. I like this one in particular because all of it so far has taken place on land, in warehouses. I can handle warehouses full of fishing rod holders. The part I don’t like is the deep blue ocean, fading away into utter blackness where light can’t reach, most of which is unexplored and could be full of horrific creatures.