Dreams of Conveyancing

Saturday night is silly sci-fi night, and that is a time-honoured tradition. Don’t you be saying a coarse word against stupid sci-fi night. It’s what gets me through the week.

Generally, me and the GF will search for terrible sci-fi movies- often made in a bygone era with potato CGI but sometimes more recent- and we will watch them. And we will laugh at them. The latest was a film called ‘Lucid’, where a bunch of people volunteer for a trial in which they can control their dreams, but they all get stuck in the dream and every five minutes someone says something like ‘”if we die in the dream, we die in real life!”

It’s hilarious, and they all periodically forget they can control the dreams when it’s convenient. You know what I’d do with that power? Just live there. Dream myself up a conveyancing specialist who can convey me to the perfect dream home, sort of like what I’m trying to do in real life but…better.

Buying a home in real life is hard, seriously. Not to disparage conveyancers or anything, but it’s so much work, on top of the work that is already work. Stupid sci-fi night really does keep me going, except on days when this house hunt is getting me down and I just have to link all the sci-fi movies to finding a home and hiring a conveyancer and checking to see if the lounge is west-facing. ‘Just summon a dream home using your dream powers!’ ‘Leave the alien crisis on Earth and find a nice two-bedroom place on the Mars colony!’ ‘Stop fighting an interdimensional conflict and come to Earth, preferably to this conveyancing solicitor in Brighton to use your powers of time dilation to make this process go forward at triple the speed!’

We had some fun with that one though. Time Soldier, coming in 1989 to a video rental store near you. All the thrilling SFX of having everyone on set hold very still so it looks like the main character is controlling time.