Merry Pile Up

The idea was to have a bunch of cars all decked out like reindeer, with a Santa ‘sleigh’ car following on behind them. All very whimsical, but someone didn’t check with their local Ringwood car mechanic; in fact, a few people didn’t. Maybe it was ego, or negligence, or a combination of many things, but …

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An Evening Cruise

Boating isn’t something my family and I do often, owing to our tragic sun allergy, but we did recently have the opportunity to have a bit of a sailing adventure. We were invited to a late-night boat gathering, just cocktails and casual business conversation on the deck of a luxury liner. I’m slightly ashamed to …

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Sharing with Sandrine

Oh gosh, watching Sandra try to be nice is like that video of a puppy taking a snowball inside and trying to play with it next to the fire. It’s so sad and funny at the same. I know she’s making an effort, because it’s obvious. Smiling like she’s been doing lately probably shaves her …

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Hotel Hair

Shoes, shoes and more shoes… welcome to my life. Before you slip into visions of me living it up amidst mounds of rare sneakers or designer stilettos, let me assure you that the reality is much less glamorous. I’m the ‘wardrobe manager’ at a certain boutique hotel known for its whimsically attired staff, and at …

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Doors of Perception

Doors. What’s the go? How did they come to be a thing? I mean, they make practical sense, don’t get me wrong. But surely they could have come out differently. Like, they could take the form of a spherical boulder that’s pushed out of the way to reveal a circular hole. Or they could be …

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People Doing THINGS

I just want people doing things. Which is why People Doing Things suits me so very well. It’s just a camera, focused on people doing their regular jobs, and you get to be a fly on the wall. It changes every day, today it’s focused on various companies near Mornington doing pest control, and that’s …

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Dreams of Conveyancing

Saturday night is silly sci-fi night, and that is a time-honoured tradition. Don’t you be saying a coarse word against stupid sci-fi night. It’s what gets me through the week. Generally, me and the GF will search for terrible sci-fi movies- often made in a bygone era with potato CGI but sometimes more recent- and …

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Hello, Ocean Phobia

I’m not sure what’s worse: my crippling fear of the ocean, or that awful internet meme song. Unfortunately, said meme song is what’s distracting me from my fear of the sea, so they’re very much a package deal at this stage. As soon as my mind starts to drift, even if I’m congratulating myself for …

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Hyperbaric Ultra-Humans

Alright, that was an embarrassing conversation that I’m going to try to forget. Kathleen was saying how she wanted to get a portable oxygen chamber, Melbourne has a few places that sell them. It’s for her son because it would help him with sport. I probably shouldn’t have asked but was curious if that was legal, …

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No Hair Mercy

You know the worst thing about being a performer? Getting your hair messed up under your mask. Like, stealing around in the shadows and dancing around is super fun, and black is so my colour, but we have to wear these dumb masks that make it, like…’oh, you spent an hour on your hair? Well, …

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